Volume 47, Issue 3 - April 2008

Window Guy
A dealer’s perspective
by R. Mark Reasbeck, owner of Coyote Springs Window and Door in Las Vegas. Mr. Reasbeck’s comments are solely his own and do not necessarily reflect those of this magazine.

Cirque du Depo’se
The Window Guy Visits with Lawyers Again

In keeping with the spirit of my instructions to keep this column related to what happens in the course of day-to-day window business, I must revisit what I experienced a few weeks ago. You are correct if you were assuming that it involves lawyers, and right again if you are thinking that I can’t make this stuff up.

There Will be Depositions
I haven’t been invited to one of these parties in a while. Imagine my excitement when I realized I would be part of a roundtable discussion with some crack attorneys. Nine o’clock was my scheduled time, but apparently this information wasn’t as important to my insurance-appointed public defender lawyer. She phoned and said she would be 45 minutes late. So with time to kill, the court reporter jumps in and asks the six people at the table, “Anyone into women’s motorcycle drag racing?”

She explained one of her reporter friends in Texas races bikes and has a website. The three attorneys on the end immediately asked for the website and looked it up. “Wow, she’s cute, but I don’t see any pictures of her bike,” said one attorney. “Oh, here it is,” one of the other attorneys said.

No Country for Old Window Guys
I’m looking for peanuts on the floor because I’m starting to wonder what circus I joined, when I looked up at the clock and noticed it had never been turned back to standard time—three and a half months ago. The court reporter then announced that her friend was looking for sponsors and if anyone in the room was interested to let her know. 

I couldn’t contain myself any longer and had to speak. “I wish I could find someone to pay for my hobbies. Is this an infomercial?” I asked.

Here she comes, Ms. Fifty Minutes Late. She apologized and said the freeway was a parking lot because President Bush was in town. My comment was, “President Bush gets blamed for everything that goes wrong and you’re going to blame him for you being late? I drove 60 miles from Pahrump, and I found a way to get here on time. I would appreciate moving this along because I’m the only one at this table who is not getting paid to be here.” 

Swearing in, introductions and asking if this was my first rodeo was the first order of business. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that I had been to more depositions than this young lawyer, Olga. 

This particular case was one single-family residence that we shipped windows to in the fall of 1997. The house has an “alleged” toxic odor that is “supposedly” killing the owner. I was asked a series of questions. “How did I know how many windows to ship, where did I get the blueprints, did I determine the sizes that went into the house, was I sure the window count was correct, did I have window options and did I remember the house in question and if it had an odor 11 years ago?” 

Some of my answers included, “Do you realize we shipped to this house in the last century, 1997, and you’re asking if I remember an odor? Do you remember what you had for breakfast 11 years ago?” 

I then was asked if I knew the exact number of windows that were in the house. My answer was, “Why?Are there some missing? What does any of this have to do with an odor other than it keeps the meters running for all you attorneys?”

Before we closed, Olga said she had learned a lot that day, and I asked if she thought I was an expert. After she said “yes” I asked for an expert’s fee. 

P.S. I think I deserve an Academy Award for Best Title used in a document. 

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